Will be back soon !!!

Dear readers, I have been lit busy and of course ali ali alchi (Lazy) lately.

Stuck with reporting assignments,so, couldn’t come up with anything interesting..but..I promise,  i will be back soon with something very-very interesting hai..

I am not afraid of having coffee alone

The leaf-shaped or heart -shaped picture on the top of a coffee cup always makes me smile. No wonder whether I am with someone or I am alone.

If I go to have coffee with somebody else, I can’t gaze at the coffee-cup for minutes and can’t pass too many comments on it, but, when I am with nobody, I can look at the coffee-cup as long as I want to and pass as many comments as I want to. I think that a cup of coffee could taste nicer, at times, when I am alone and can take every sip of coffee with my feelings (monologues). Moreover, when I am hammered with irritation, want to be in solitude,  I love to have coffee alone.

I don’t think this makes me psycho because I can always have fun while having coffee with friends, dear ones, boyfriend, a person on whom I have a crush with or a cute guy who has a crush on me. Similarly, there are moments when I felt relieved after having cooffee with friends and sharing about life.

I am not trying to prove that having coffee alone and outing alone make you bold but doing so alone also doesn’t mean that you are anti-social or a lonely person. Whenever my friends or family members come to know that I went alone to have coffee, they throw bombarding and worrisome adjectives to describe my nature. Whenever I go alone to have coffee, window shopping or swimming, my friends (whoever comes to know) say that I am totally anti-social. But when I hear my friends saying that they cancelled their outing or shopping plan or any other plan because of lack of company, I feel good that I have an art to listen to my heart. I remember a friend of mine branded me with the adjective “Insane” after knowing I went for swimming alone. I can imagine the priceless time when i was in the inky-blue water inside the pool. I strongly believe that it is worthwhile to take out time from family and friends or from your work for self.

At times, I have walked in a slow rainy evening; many times I have listened to the rain drops pouring from my window till late night. It is countless when I have stayed alone in my room (when there is none) in a hazy afternoon and played the music loud and erased my hunger. Nothing could be more heavenly. Nothing.

Once more I would like to state that I am not an anti-social. There are hundreds of evidences that I can jot down here to prove that I love to be around people, share things with friends, love to cry in front of friends, laugh out loud in public, stay awake overnight talking with friends and take holidays to go for a hiking. Most of the compliments that I have received from people whom I am introduce to is- I can make people comfortable and can mingle with friends withing a short pace.

After reading the article the article by Karyl Mcbride entitled “Why I am so afraid of being alone?” I really feel that aloneness can be an exquisite gift. Afterwards, I realized that wasn’t unsociable but I really love to talk to myself.  No one becomes a loser or a selfish when he/she wants to give time to self. In anther works, loving solitude is loving yourself for me.

There is nothing to lose when we buy time for ourselves from our busy schedule. The only thing that matters is to become happy at the end of the day, no matter even if people call you ‘insane’, ‘selfish’ or a big ‘anti-social’.

Waking up at 5:00 am is indeed a big deal

The view from the main gate was little clumsy. Students, dressed-up in a colorful pattern, looked worried. Each of them had a hand book or a sheet of paper (but unclear what it exactly was). They were rushing to get mixed with the group but their eyes were stuck on the book, leaflet or a sheet of paper (whatever they were carrying.)

The scissor gate that gives a way to the main building was locked. A man from inside was making hullabaloo to stop the students. “Which year are you in ……..I can’t allow you to enter inside the building…..” The man, gate and the white-colored-faded building looked tired.

She got confused. @_@

She couldn’t figure out what was happening there. She parked her scooter outside the college premise and entered to “Ratna Rajya Campus“. She was pushed-off by the crowd but she eventually managed to get into the building to attend her first-ever master’s degree class.

She walked-in to check her class-room. Ummmm…….… waking up at 5:00 in the morning haven’t yet become a ‘very big deal’ until she came to know that there would be no-class-at-all. Grrrr………..she really wanted to smack somebody after knowing that her class was occupied for an exam center.

However, she, a student of Major English (Literature), ended-up attending the 2^nd year class of Mass Communication and Journalism to kill her time before she could go to her office.

Ummmm…I must say my first day experience of going to a government college went horrible when I want’ taught in ‘my classroom’. I was sad to witness the pathetic situation of students and imagine myself of the same (not getting a place to sit), forget about the proper lighting system and cleanliness of the classroom. Poor me

Happy for getting ‘preferred job’ and a ‘job’

Excited. Much. Nervous. Little.

Sunday (June 26, 2011) would have been my first day first day with Republica, if I could have forgotten those happy 9 months of 2010.

Rejoining office almost after a year is alike joining new office, but, lots of news faces in the office convinced me that I am new to all of them.

My working area is also not the same now. I have been transferred to political bureau from business section (my sitting chair is also not the same).

Expressing my happiness here is noteworthy because I am given the responsibility of political reporting. Since the time I dreamt of being a journalist, I had a dream to become a political reporter. Now I feel like my dream is coming true.After various hassles of around three years in journalism, I finally got what I wanted. I wasn’t happy for getting a job but I was happy for getting a preferred job. So, I don’t see any reason to become upset.

I will be designated as a defense reporter in coming days.

Once again, my determination continues and my happiness shines like a star.

Happy Working!!!!!!

Accept me for ‘WHAT I AM’

Tired of this place and people out here !!!!

Tired of public embarrassment !!!!

Tired of people’s attitude !!!!

Tired of asking help !!!! Though i m not a dumb and useless creature !!!!

Tired for considering for others feeling when nobody cares for mine !!!!

Tired of being victims without having committed any crime !!!!

Tired of controlling my anger !!!!

Waiting to go back….waiting to enjoy my happiness and anger ……waiting to go back where i will be accepted for ‘WHAT I AM’.

Experiencing the ‘ICC World Cup 2011′

When twenty-two gentlemen – 11 each from India and West Indies- entered the field, around 46,000 spectators – face painted with Indian tricolours- stood up from their chairs and waved the Indian flags and cheered the teams with full enthusiasm while the national anthems were being played. This was the opening scene of ICC Cricket World Cup, 2011 – India vs West Indies- at M. A Chidambaram Stadium, Chennai.

The moment the game started, I was thrilled. The audience marvellously cheered for the Indian team who they fondly call the ‘Men In Blue’. I couldn’t resist cheering the home team. Screaming slogans and chanting – ‘Saaaaachin,,,,Sachin……..Saaaaaachin…….Sachin’.

And the hero did not disappoint. Wherever he fielded on the ground, he would turn to the hundreds behind them and acknowledged their presence. Our hooting didn’t go waste as Sachin turned to us and simply waved. This was enough to make our day.

Participating (and sometimes initiating) in the Mexican wave, playing thunder sticks with full zeal and breaking into a jig every time the Indians took a wicket was fun indeed.

Equally exciting was India’s star batsman – Yuvraj Singh. I was lucky enough to witness his first century in a World Cup match. Seated in the H Lower stand, commonly known as Pepsi stand, we danced every time he smashed the ball around the park. And the background music for him was aptly – Singh is King, Singh is King.

The deejay seemed to know exactly what the crowd wanted to listen to. The loudspeakers belted English, Hindi and Tamil hits one after the other. This one incident in the match comes to mind – the deejay very promptly played ‘Who Let The Dogs Out’ when a puppy dog halted the game for a few minutes as he ran across the field. The atmosphere in Chepauk stadium was unforgettable.

If it wasn’t for my friend, Megha Kuchu, I wouldn’t have managed to get tickets as the match was sold out weeks ago. Eleven of us in our group started vying to get the tickets. But finally, we decided upon the draw of lots since we had only four tickets. Though I wasn’t lucky enough to get my name in the lots, but my friend-  Ananya Baneerjee- gave me her ticket realizing that watching that game would be historical for me.And when the counters were open for the sale of tickets, police had to charge baton to control the cricket fans.

Watching the stars of the cricketing world live in action was like a dream come true for me. I can only imagine the passion I would have had for the Nepali team if they had qualified.

I must say the crowd management during that match was very good (enough security deployed) though I have heard that the crowd management in the Indian sub- continent is inefficient. In fact, the first-class crowd management of the event only added to the experience. Seeing the crowd turnout, I realised, that cricket indeed brought Indians together. Each spectator celebrated with the other, all the inhibitions faded.

When I was all set to come to India for my further studies (in 2010), I remember my friends had said, “India is going to make you a fan of cricket.” And that obviously proved to be right because I learnt the rules of the game and enjoyed it. So, I must say watching Cricket World Cup, 2011 was one of the best moments of my life!

Falling from withering heights

From above 1,000 feet, I looked down and started thinking- will somebody find my bone pieces there or can somebody recognize me with the flowing blood? A pang of guilt and a sense of fear revolved around me for taking this decision. But hundreds of questions linger awaiting answers.  No wonder, even if someone can answer them, it is too late now because I will fall like a rolling stone in a while.

I have started disliking others presence, even a single drop of sound annoys me, and later, I feel a pang of guilt for being rude. I must feel sorry for all of them whom I have been rude to. I wasn’t born rude but I pretend to be rude, I wasn’t born anti-social but I insist to. At times, I love to be in the state of solitude, enjoy it and just think, think, think and think!!!!

Very often I assume that I can execute myself but when my conviction reach atop to the suicidal point, I always fall from withering heights only because I am not born genius. Meantime, I am not mentally retarded. No wonder “I love self for who and what I am” and thus, I can’t give full stop to my life. I can comprehend how absurd my monologues used to be but pondering that how it became more absurd this time.

Whenever the state of boredom overtakes my normalacy, I think I am a twit. I don’t know for how long this provisional self-assurance will lend a hand for my fluctuating state of mind but there are hundreds of questions entwined with my future. Problems arise when large set of questions buzz at a moment.  I am running behind the future but I am uncertain where my future lies and how many miles do I have to hike so that I will be able to say – I banged all intricacies to be here. Though I am not a person who cent percent believes in destiny, I must thank Lord for blessing me in countless hardships of life.

This time without going further, I became conscious. Nobody woke me and distracted me out of my monologue. Sometimes, I feel I am going insane and the world of insanity is gracing me gradually.

Eccentric but mighty thought of mine, though in my monologue, to put oneself to death might sound ridiculous to many who mistakenly happen to click my blog. But for now I couldn’t write more because another important thing struck my mind- should finish ‘A Thousand Splendid Suns’ by Khaled Hosseini.